My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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