CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
