Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
