Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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