lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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