IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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