Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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