I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
