Where is the hickey?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
