bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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