I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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