haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
