She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
