I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
