Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
