I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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