Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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