Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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