before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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