sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
