piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
