Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Panties = found
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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