Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
