You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
