So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
