fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
operation have a gay friend backfired
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
