I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
