My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
