I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
