i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just blew my weed a kiss
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
