in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
