I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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