Will you blow on my dice?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
