Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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