M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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