a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
