smell my finger.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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