You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
