I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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