I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
