Got a toothbrush?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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