wat bout pragnant strippers??
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
