I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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