why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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