I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
