I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
