do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
