My friends, they love my intelligence
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
