...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
