i think i have herpe
just one?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
